A Service to Celebrate the Life of
Oliver Chambers
ENTRANCE MUSIC
Elgar – Chanson de Matin – BBC Concert Orchestra
(3:01)
WELCOME AND OPENING WORDS
Welcome to you all to this place of peace. And it is indeed a place of great peace. So is it a place of great sorrow and parting. But it is also a place of shared love, laughter, and joy; A place filled with memories of happier times.
You are here today to say farewell to Oliver, to show the love, affection, and regard in which he was held and to remember and celebrate the person he was.
When someone you love has died, the company of others is so very important. Just to be together matters enormously. It takes away some of the loneliness of pain and draws you together.
Each of you have left your daily routines to acknowledge some of the thoughts and feelings that can well up in us when we are saddened by the death of someone we love. You all share in the sorrow of this occasion, each experiencing the emptiness which comes from separation and acknowledging the painful gap there will be in your lives.
However, sadness is not the only emotion. As you remember, share, and celebrate Oliver’s
life and character; it’s ok to smile, to laugh even. Smiles and laughter are a large part of life.
Smiles and laughter were a huge part of Oliver’s life
You have all been touched by his life in some way, so remember him with warmth, with fondness, with love and affection and, above all, with gratitude.
Our service today, our celebration of Oliver’s life, has been planned and created with great care and much love by Simon, Debs and the family and everything said today comes from them.
I know for certain that we never lose the people we love, even to death.
They continue to participate in every act, thought and decision we make.
Their love leaves an indelible imprint in our memories.
We find comfort in knowing that our lives have been enriched by having shared their love.
We begin our celebration of Oliver’s life with a poem especially chosen for today by Simon
BROTHER
(Read by Simon)
As children we lived together,
We fought, we laughed, we cried,
And sometimes we didn't always share,
The love we felt inside,
Growing up, we shared our dreams and plans,
And some secrets too,
These are the treasured memories which, together with the
Special times we shared will forever bind me to you
As men we grew together through thick and thin,
I couldn't have done it without you, my friend.
We found a strong love that still endures today
One which is shared by our family and will never fade away.
You were my brother not by choice, but by nature of our birth,
I’d never have chosen a better one, you were the best.
Having a brother like you made all the difference in my life.
Now rest in peace, something that you struggled with here on earth
ASPECTS OF OLIVER’S LIFE AND CHARACTER
Rupert Oliver Chambers, known as Oliver, or affectionately as Ollie, was born in Manchester on Tuesday 5th March 1967, to John and Margaret Chambers, a little brother to Simon.
The family were living in Hale, near Altrincham, Cheshire, and did so for the next six years until moving to Churt in Surrey, where Oliver attended the Primary School, only to end up being taught by his mother who had taken up a teaching post there!
A sequence of further moves necessitated by John’s work opportunities saw the family move north again to Burton on the Wirral for two years, where Oliver attended Mostyn House School and from there back down to Surrey. Firstly, renting in Woodlands Avenue Cranleigh, then to Lynwick Street in Rudgwick for four years before finally settling at Englefield, Bridge Road, Cranleigh in 1982 in what remains the family home.
During this time Oliver went to Cranleigh Prep School, Glebelands and Godalming College. Being far more practically minded than an academic high-flyer, he went on to study at Guildford Technical College, where he attained a BTEC National Certificate in Automotive Engineering.
Oliver has been described as a lively, experimental, teenager causing more than the usual amount of parental angst and certainly enjoyed these formative years, somewhat more for the social aspect than the studying. He formed a good group of friends, many of whom he remained in contact with throughout his life.
The prospect of a gap year filled with travel and adventure presented itself when a family acquaintance invited Oliver to spend the summer with them in the USA. Oliver’s gap year was to last eight years.
Boy met girl and he sensed the opportunity to, not only stay beyond the initial six-month visa, but also fulfil the next stage of his education and work toward a degree qualification. This was to become a defining moment as he proved a point to himself, and others, in graduating from Cardinal Stritch College Milwaukee with a BA in Interpersonal Communication. It meant a lot to him that John flew over to be there for the award ceremony and celebrations.
He quickly settled into the American way of life and whilst studying made ends meet through working on cars. He had no shortage of summer visitors from the UK who were all keen to experience his way of life which included living in a converted school bus acquired for $300 from an Elvis impersonator. The big plan was to make it roadworthy and tour the states, however this proved to be too much work, even for Ollie…
Undeterred, he still embarked on a road trip across America from Chicago to California and back in a Toyota Corolla that had already seen better days. The head gasket eventually blew just outside the only ‘dry’ town in Nebraska from where it was towed to the nearest scrapyard. After a long night spent in the car, Oliver, using his knowledge and skills, fitted the replacement parts and got it back on the road, much to the relief of his travelling companion.
After graduation Oliver took on his first professional position as a Sales Executive at Central Trading Enterprises based north of Chicago. The company was a wholesaler trading a range of ‘designer’ stonewashed denim jeans and the main benefit for him was a new car which worked perfectly!
But, as with all good things his time in America finally reached the end of the road and he returned to the UK with a degree and work experience. It wasn’t long before he had secured employment with Suttons International, a logistics company based in Runcorn. He joined their Management Development program, gaining skills and experience across the business, prior to taking up a newly created position as Business Development Manager for Asia.
Based in Shanghai, he established their offices and travelled regularly throughout China and Asia seeking out new business opportunities – a role to which he was well suited. Once again, friends arrived to experience this culture, including John whom Oliver took to a local food market where live turtles, terrapins and snakes were prepared to order…. he never forgot that …. or the smell too!
After 18 successful months in China, he was promoted to Assistant General Manager of their US operations based in New Jersey. However, having been in the US previously, it never quite lived up to the experience, challenges or demands of doing business in Asia.
As there were no alternative posts, Oliver resigned and once again returned to the UK. It was to be a career defining moment as he chose to turn his back on the corporate world and move to Cornwall where he was to enjoy the happiest days of his life.
He had experienced Cornwall on previous visits to Newquay and the surfing beaches. It’s rugged coastline gave him a sense of freedom and belonging which he loved. As before, boy met girl and a new life began as he returned to his engineering background servicing and repairing boats at a local yard.
He began recreational diving and, despite a phobia of fish, qualified as an open water diver whilst on holiday in the Dominican Republic. This must have been his epiphany as within weeks of his return, he’d found himself a job at Cornish Diving in Falmouth. He learnt the trade quickly, driving boats, supporting the team, and diving on a regular basis, it didn’t take long before he had qualified as an open water scuba instructor. Other certification followed; Master Scuba Diver Trainer; Dry Suit Diver; Wreck Diver and Deep Diver which in turn allowed him to train and certify others.
Ever the entrepreneur, Oliver seized the opportunity to establish a PADI dive school within Truro College as part of their student program. He proposed the business plan and, over the next five years, created a well-respected and self-sustaining centre of excellence. From instructing novice divers to training future instructors and dive masters, he also organised the school’s annual dive trip to Sharm-el-Sheikh on the Red Sea – not only a highlight but also a nice perk of the job!
The success of the dive school meant he was able to settle in Penryn and was extremely proud when he was able to purchase his own home. Despite the lack of parking, this was a moment for him to savour and he spent several years renovating the property, including a new kitchen and bathroom.
Everything was going well, until 2010 when an accident at home caused a stroke that affected both his speech and balance. Oliver had to undertake extensive occupational and speech therapy, learning to both walk and speak again. However, his speech never fully recovered, and his balance remained impaired. Worst of all he had to relinquish his livelihood and passion as the injuries prevented him from any further diving as an instructor and by default unable to continue as head of the dive school.
This was a difficult time for him mentally, but through his own formidable efforts Oliver made a good enough recovery to regain his driving licence and with that some freedom. He’d also had time to consider what might be next and in doing so, came across government regulation that stipulated annual testing of all electrical appliances within the workplace and rented accommodation.
It was the perfect solution whereby he could run his own company, be his own boss, whilst choosing both his hours and clients. P.A.T. Testing Cornwall was born. Thanks to the plethora of holiday rentals and businesses in the surrounding area, there was no shortage of enquiries. The business soon grew to incorporate the same regulations for fire extinguishers, fire blankets, smoke, CO & CO2 detectors, and became Fire & P.A.T. Testing Services Cornwall Ltd
With more clients, the business had become more demanding both physically and mentally, but he resisted engaging additional help. This led to anxiety and depression which was further compounded by John’s death at the end of 2019, something which affected him profoundly.
Simon will always remember Oliver as his fun-loving brother, and they became much closer after his lively teenage years. Simon visited Oliver on several occasions whilst he was in the US and Oliver joined Simon on ski holidays and several New Year celebrations. On one such occasion Oliver’s love of an open fire became apparent when he managed to burn an entire week’s supply of the local pub’s firewood in one evening. It was the day before New Year’s Eve, an event to which Simon and his friends were consequently barred from attending.….
Other than Oliver’s bi-annual visits to Surrey from Cornwall, it will be Simon’s eternal regret that the two of them did not see more of each other during those years. They did however share a life-long support of Manchester City and would always message each other whenever the team was playing. Oliver liked to put the same bet to win on every game, although he never won as often as the team did! Either way, he would have been delighted at the outcome of this season’s final game – typical City….
In the end Oliver found happiness with Debs and their love was mutual; they had been with each other for six years and enjoyed the best of times together, holidaying in Sharm-el-Sheikh, Corsica, Sicily, and Brittany. More recently they had enjoyed exploring coastlines and secluded coves aboard their pair of sea kayaks. She proved to be a steadying influence and a supportive partner who allowed him space when required. He wasn’t always the easiest person to be around, especially towards the end and we can only be thankful that she was there to comfort him in his final hours
The place Oliver loved best was Cornwall. He was never happier than when he was there, near and in the sea. His love of being by the sea never diminished. He loved it so much that he would always make a point of going down to the shoreline to taste the water.
Oliver achieved great things in his life. He obtained academic success; travelled more than most; ran successful businesses; bought a house and eventually met the love of his life. He was surrounded by good friends and had good times doing what he enjoyed. Everyone speaks highly of his character, dedication, determination, and above all his great sense of humour.
He was much loved and will be sadly missed by Debs, Simon, Margaret, and the immediate family as well as everyone who knew and loved him.
We are now going to share a poem specially chosen by Debs
FOR OLIVER
(Read by Debs)
Feel no guilt in laughter, he'd know how much you care.
Feel no sorrow in a smile that he is not here to share.
You cannot grieve forever; he would not want you to.
He'd hope that you could carry on the way you always do.
So, talk about the good times and the way you showed you cared,
The days you spent together, all the happiness you shared.
Let memories surround you. A word someone may say
Will suddenly recapture a time, an hour, a day,
That brings him back as clearly as though he were still here,
And fills you with the feeling that he is always near.
For if you keep those moments, you will never be apart
And he will live forever locked safely within your heart.
FINAL FAREWELLS AND COMMITTAL
Now has come the time when we must say our final farewells to Oliver;
PLEASE STAND
Oliver pass gently on your final journey.
You go with our love, you go with our thanks, you go with our blessing.
You will always be a light in the lives of those who knew and love you, because love never ends.
And so, with sorrow but with great love and affection we commit the earthly body of Oliver Chambers to be transformed into the ultimate elements of the Universe.
Into the sadness and smiles of our memories
Into the cycle of living and dying
We let you go
Into the freedom of twilight and sunshine
Into the dance of the stars and the planets
We let you go
Into the gentle rain and the wind’s soft embrace
Into the swaying grass and the warmth of the earth
We let you go
Into the rhythmic movement of the waves
Into the soft sands of the beach and amongst the sun-warmed rocks
We let you go
May you rest in peace, in fulfilment and love.
We love you we miss you,
Go gently, go safely, go running home
To the living, Oliver is gone.
To the sorrowful, he will never return.
To the angry, he was cheated,
But to the happy, he is at peace,
And to the faithful, he has never left.
Oliver cannot be seen, but he can be heard.
So as you stand upon a shore, gazing at a beautiful sea - remember him.
As you look in awe at a mighty forest and its grand majesty - remember him.
As you look upon a flower and admire its simplicity - remember him.
As you watch the sun set in a blood red sky – remember him.
Remember Oliver in your heart and your thoughts, your memories of the times you loved, the times you cried, the times you fought, the times you laughed. For if you always think of him, he will never be gone.
PLEASE BE SEATED
A PERIOD OF QUIET REFLECTION
We will now join together in a period of quiet reflection for you to gather your thoughts and memories of Oliver and to pray quietly if you wish whilst we listen to
REFLECTIVE MUSIC
Adventure of a Lifetime - Coldplay
(4:24)
CLOSING WORDS
Each human life is unique and that is why we grieve. But what is grief? Grief is really just love – that’s all, just love; It’s all the love you want to give – but cannot.
All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go. Grief is the price we pay for love.
Love and compassion are what make us human and humane, and it is our humanity that makes us unique. Look through the whole of the world and there is no one like Oliver.
But he lives on in your memories and in your hearts and, though no longer a physical presence, he will always remain a member of your family and of your circle, through the influence he has had on you and the special part he has played in your lives.
Oliver left us much too soon. We cannot judge a biography by its length nor by the number of pages in it. We must judge it by the richness of its contents. Sometimes those unfinished are among the most poignant.
We cannot judge a symphony by its duration nor by the number of its notes. We must judge it by the way it touches and lifts our souls. Sometimes the unfinished symphonies are among the most beautiful. And when something has enriched your life. And when its melody lingers on in your heart. Is it unfinished? Or is it endless?
As long as you carry Oliver inside you; as long as you carry the harvest of his dreams,
as long as you yourselves live, holding memories in common; then Oliver lives.
Debs will carry the weight of his love;
A friend will carry his arguments;
You may find yourself humming his favourite tunes;
You may hear his voice on the wind and waves, saying those words you have heard time and time again.
And the days will pass, then the weeks and then the months. Then there will be a day when no questions are asked, and the knots of grief will loosen in the stomach and the puffed faces will calm. And on that day Oliver will not have ceased to be but will have ceased to be separated from you by death. Not apart from you; but a part of you.
Soon you must leave this place of peace and return to the noisy, busy world.
Go with peace and love in your hearts and in charity with one another, heedful of each other’s sadness and reaching out with fresh hope. Use the love you felt for Oliver to soothe your pain and sorrow.
The coming days are a time of love and support for one another. You were privileged to know Oliver, remember him with joy. All his hopes and dreams now rest with you.
Your humanity gives you a measure of understanding, your thoughts and feelings are shared, and by living and loving one another, you create the value of the world and together you sustain a living memorial to Oliver.
CLOSING MUSIC
Blue Moon – Sha Na Na
(2:21)